Are We Ignoring Reality By Always Being Positive?

June 29th, 2020

This is not intended to sound negative, I aim simply to challenge how you think with this blog post. By being perpetually positive are we ignoring reality?

Positive Influencers

It is ground in to us from influencers, family, friends, celebrities and social media, everywhere, that it is important to stay positive. We are told that everything will be okay in the end. I am often guilty of suggesting this myself. There are countless books written to encourage a more positive lifestyle. We are taught that if we are more positive then we will be happy.

It does sound intuitive that if you think and act in a more positive way then you will not be as negatively affected by things. But do we really always gain from this mindset?

But is it? Only if you act. Photo by Thomas Allsop on Unsplash


If we look at what is going on in the world right now, as lock-down eases pubs are due to reopen, but gyms not yet. I have seen so much anger on social media about this. If we react in an angry and negative way about it all that is achieved is hording negative emotions and just generally being pissed off with life. What is actually being gained by that? Nothing. Having anger about it is not going to change anything, it is what it is. Or is it? Perception depends on where your passion, lifestyle and choices are. I could probably analyse this for hours.

Positive Reactions

We can react positively by taking the space away from the gym to be more creative with training and life. We have time to look at other interests and hobbies, enjoy the great outdoors or to work on weaknesses and skills.

If you are a business owner of a gym or a PT or fitness instructor that is based in a gym, a positive way to deal would be to invest in other ways of helping people in this time. Learning, creating and evolving. This would inevitably improve your business and customer experience in the long run.

If you are a gym member then there is so much choice out there that may enrich your life even more so than going to the gym. Use the experience to actually overcome your hurdles, not add to them.

We accept that this is just how it is for the moment and we find a way to get around it when we have a positive reaction.

Negative Reactions

When we react with anger we project our opinions on to other people that will then take on our negative opinion and share it with others. Does this help the situation? Well this is up for debate, it depends on the situation.

With the gym reopening scenario, could it potentially lead to the government changing their minds and reopening early? If that happens to be the case then a negative response could lead to a positive result. Again that depends on your outlook of the situation, which I am not discussing. Or it could lead to a lot of people being angry. This then deters them away from enjoying what they have available and what is around them.

Having a negative reaction is sometimes more important than having a positive reaction

The ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement was established by people reacting to a very negative situation. The people that initially acted with anger and rage helped the cause come into fruition and get the message out. Highlighting what is wrong with the world can educate and inform those who are naive. A negative action caused a negative reaction to the state of the world and has encouraged a positive reaction from many, although a negative response, sadly, from some.

I am not advocating acting with violence despite this being a negative response. Violence or anything that causes harm to another living being does still highlight what is wrong with the world, but it can deter from the point at hand. There are better ways to get the same point across. But this highlights that that you can react with negativity and have a positive response, or act negatively and get a negative response.


When we are influenced in to believing that the goal of life is just to be happy, we are surely slightly missing the point of life. Happiness is a by-product of the experiences we have and the choices we make.

Happiness is an emotion, why should the ultimate goal in life to be to feel one thing? Everything that we feel shapes us. If there was no bad, would the good even feel good? If everything was ‘good’ all the time and we had everything that we wanted when we wanted it, wouldn’t that eventually feel mundane? especially if we had no understanding of what it was like to be without those things? Would it hinder the experience of excitement, hope, or achievement?

We can learn such valuable things from some really shit situations. I know that sometimes there may not be an obvious valuable thing, and they can also happen without there being a shit situation to join it, but it is just a thought.

Address and overcome

It’s disassociation

The thing is, if we are constantly trying to pretend that everything is okay then we are ignoring our feelings and emotions. When we are deliberately behaving with disconnect to the world around us. We delude ourselves as a way of coping with the stress, but it ultimately means that we are not dealing with the situation and not accepting that it’s just how it is.

If we do not address the reason why we have had that thought or emotion we are pretending that it doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t make it go away.

If we try to ‘stay positive’ all the time then we are acknowledging our own emotions and our own self. Emotions are there for a reason, they help us become aware of a problem that needs to be fixed. They tell us that something isn’t quite right. If we then ignore the emotion then we treat ourselves with complete self-disrespect.

Everything happens for a reason…

Just need to think about what the reason is, and deal with it.

We think things for a reason.

If you are feeling or thinking something then it is worth working out why. If you can acknowledge that then you can change that. And if you never change any thing then life will always be the same.

If we feel like we are really not good at something, and that puts us off of following our dreams if we do not look at the reason why. We can’t just assume that everything will be okay in the end, or even that everything will never be okay.

But you could address the issue

If you think you are shit, maybe you could assume that you are shit. That’s easier then to fix, you seek training to get better at the said thing, and even if you weren’t shit, you’d then believe in yourself a bit more and have the confidence to try.

Sounds much better then pretending the initial emotion wasn’t there, right?

By always being positive we might be ignoring reality

I have just managed to find a positive in a discussion about not needing to always be positive, but, it’s food for thought.

I am not dismissing that there are certainly times when having a more positive outlook it useful. When we challenge the way we think about things we are open to learning and becoming wiser.

To improve your mindset and approach, you can contact me for help.

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